Have You Ever Thought That Your Self-esteem Was Too Low?

If you do not value yourself enough, it may be because you do not know the negative consequences of this exercise of injustice, in which you are both the one who taxes, but also the one. who is taxed. This situation can be terrible because, as Laura Restrepo says wisely, “one should never underestimate the loyalty that each one keeps towards his old pains”.

Remember that you are not the only person paying the consequences of this underestimation. Everyone around you, starting with your children, your spouse, your family, your friends and acquaintances will suffer from your low self-esteem. So, not valuing yourself enough will make you see someone tiny in a mirror, when in reality you have abilities that you totally ignore.

How to tell if your self-esteem is strong enough

It is complicated to have a realistic picture of our own capabilities, just as it is difficult to draw a line that separates those challenges that are within our grasp from those that are beyond our scope. Sometimes we fail, and sometimes we succeed, and that’s something that conditions a lot how we feel in the present, while often causing us to lose perspective of our true worth.

When your self-esteem is not strong enough, you normally acquire a series of automatisms that betray you. Evaluating if these automatisms are present or not in your life can give you a realistic vision of the esteem that you have for yourself and a fair reflection of the exercise of taxation that you impose on yourself. So let’s take a look at these points with social psychologist Xavier Molina, who will guide us through these rough oceans!

Automatisms that indicate a lack of self-esteem

Excess of modesty

A key in these people who underestimate themselves is their excess of modesty. Does this mean that being humble is a bad thing? No, that means there are too many negative connotations. This mark distinguishes people who are unsure of themselves.

What can you do if you recognize yourself in this description? Accept compliments. If someone praises you, know that you deserve it, because it is so. While humility is a wonderful virtue, going overboard can be a self-esteem issue,  so let people compliment you if you deserve it.

Over-valuing the opinions of others

We must not forget that everyone has an opinion on everything. But very often these opinions do not come from a rigorous process of thought and analysis. That’s not to say that they can’t hurt or be reliable, but we have to be aware that they don’t always deserve overpricing.

If another person’s opinion is too important to us, it may be because we underestimate ourselves. People who lack self-confidence overly value the opinions of others. We should therefore not feel attacked by what others say. Their comments are no more valid than yours.

You put the happiness of others before your own

There is nothing wrong with thinking about the well-being of others. Putting it before your own can be an honorable and selfless attitude. But doing it constantly is a very clear symptom of low self-esteem. Why do you think the happiness of others is more important than your own?

Do you really think that making others happy, at the expense of your own happiness, makes sense? If you don’t feel fulfilled yourself, how could you make others be? You don’t know what it is to feel good because you don’t feel it, so you can’t convey happiness and satisfaction. If the other person doesn’t want to see you in a good way, maybe you should give this relationship some thought.

“No duty is more underestimated than happiness. “

-Robert Louis Stevenson-

You still think you are being teased

Someone who underestimates themselves and is insecure of themselves will always feel like the butt of others’ teasing. Any comments, looks or gestures can be misinterpreted and cause anxiety.

But don’t think that everyone around you is thinking of you. For a confident person, these attitudes, if they exist, are sometimes imaginary and do not matter to him. We don’t have to worry about pleasing others, but ourselves.

You doubt your abilities

If you’re one of those people who thinks they can’t do something, it’s because you can’t do it. Your way of thinking is your main enemy, which is yourself. You are not aware of the many possibilities and capacities that you really have.

Don’t be defeatist. You have enormous capabilities and possibilities, and you can achieve anything you want. But trying to keep my feet on the ground. You could start your own business, for example, but not make the horses fly. Always realistically, be aware of how much you can accomplish if you choose to.

You avoid going out of your comfort zone

The comfort zone is really comfortable. It is a gray, routine and repetitive existence in which many people feel safe. They avoid leaving it at all costs for fear of what might happen outside this area. They always think negatively, believing that any change will make everything worse.

This is clear evidence of a lack of self-esteem. If we go into the comfort zone spiral, and if we convince ourselves that this is the best thing, we will truly believe it. But there are ways that can allow us to value ourselves more and to dare to live adventures beyond the comfort of what is already known.

“There is a principle which resists any information, any investigation, which only keeps man in permanent ignorance … It is the principle of underestimating what one has not yet sought”

-Herbert Spencer-

So you now know that  if your self-esteem is not strong enough, you will miss out on a lot of opportunities. Safety and personal fulfillment should be our goals. It is only from these two things that we can be happy and make those around us happy.