Intolerance Is Not Putting Yourself In The Other’s Shoes
A simple rub, a glance or a sentence can be horrifying, depending on the person in front of us.
Intolerance is a current problem that involves not putting up with having contact with other people. And this flaw can greatly worsen our relationships.
There is a very fine difference between tolerance and lack of tolerance. It seems that we are less and less patient or kind to others, that we find it more and more difficult to put ourselves in their shoes and understand that confrontation leads nowhere.
How intolerant are you?
We start from the premise that we are or have been intolerant, whether it is because of a bad day or because tolerance is not part of our values.
It’s sad but it’s real. Let’s talk about everyday situations, which allow us to analyze our degree of acceptance or refusal towards others.
For example, if we are in the street and we bump into someone talking on the phone, if we are in the subway next to someone who is almost sneezing on us, or if in a restaurant, the person in face eats his soup with a lot of noise, it can really make us angry.
However, there are even more annoying situations: if a colleague in the office drags their feet when they walk or a colleague taps their heels very hard, if our spouse or friend is distracted when we tell them something important, or if in the cinema, a film commentator does not stop talking… It is not uncommon for our ears to start to smoke.
Why do these kinds of unimportant situations end up exposing our intolerance to light?
People shouting on the bus, talking with their mouths full or listening to music without headphones in the street should not become a valid cause for anger.
Symptoms of intolerance
If, in general, anger arises in you as a result of a situation described above, you need to rethink the reason for your frustration.
Realize that when you get angry in this way, the one who suffers twice as much is you.
You are in pain because of the perceived offense and you cannot stand your own inner anger.
Realize that you are not so alone in this world (luckily) and that everyone around you can do whatever they want as long as they don’t attack you.
Maybe you are okay with it doing it but above all, that it does not bother you!
So the second step is to find out why it bothers you. The man of the cinema is simply trying to bond with someone who shares his taste for films.
The young girl sneezing in the metro did so without realizing it and without the intention of making you sick. Whoever makes noise while eating his soup does not know how to do otherwise because he has been taught that way.
The woman in the heels thinks that the noise she makes is not that loud …
This is not to think that everyone is against you and that they are doing these actions to annoy you or disturb your peace of mind.
It is you who disturb yourself on your own because you consider that they are doing it on purpose, that they do not respect you or that they have all agreed to make your day worse… Nothing could be further from reality!
We all have our peculiarities, our quirks which may at one time or another disturb others and for which we implore understanding, because our manias do not bother us.
How to reduce intolerance?
Tolerance is not only respect for freedom of expression or worship, but it is also about putting up with the peculiarities of others without them becoming angry.
Tolerance means self-control, patience, and emotional rehabilitation.
On the other hand, the fact that we live in an increasingly intolerant society, even if we make signs in favor of diversity, does not mean that we have to “stick” to this fashion of antipathy in everyday life. , with people around us. It’s sad, but no one teaches us to be tolerant.
This little-practiced skill is seen as a weakness. That is, if we are tolerant, we are labeled “soft” or “submissive”.
Contempt, lack of understanding and thinking only of yourself is associated with the “good citizen”.
Fighting intolerance is fundamental and being able to transform it into a habit requires a lot of patience. And this is precisely what we miss when someone does not behave as we expect them to be around us.
So, the next time someone sits near you on the subway when there are seats everywhere, you get a message full of spelling mistakes, or smoke near you. you, count to 10 and don’t let anger get into you.
With a peaceful mind, you will be able to understand that no one is against you and that no one wants to ruin your day. Everyone is just living their life.
