You Are Not The Experiences You Have, But The Lessons You Learn From Them

One of the main reasons for psychological discomfort is usually the following: we identify so much with certain experiences that finally a moment comes when we no longer manage to separate things out.

Unintentionally , we usually psychologically imitate the most important painful experiences and those that had the greatest psychological and physical impact on us.

If you want to be the person you want to be, you have to let go of that belief.

You need to understand that you are not what is happening to you, but the medium housing those things that are happening to you.

V ou are not the experiences you live, but the lessons you draw.

The explanation lies in the evolution

In the past, humans were exposed to dangers that constantly challenged their physical integrity, and this trace of over-excitement and fear has remained active and latent in us, even if it does not always manifest itself.

However, on an individual level, we treat suffering as something destructive, which makes us weak and pushes us to be wary of society.

This vicious circle does not heal any wounds: you must stop suffering to start living peacefully.

The pot and its substances

“Imagine a glass jar. It looks strong and solid in appearance, and yet certain conditions can cause it to fall and break: either negligently or intentionally.

For several years, this pot occupied an important place in the living room of a house. He has something special. When the jam it initially contained was finished, we put its lid back on and put a label on it that read “jar of everything”.

With this appearance and function, over time the inhabitants of the house, the children who played there, and even the guests poured various substances into it as well as placed various objects.

This jar therefore contained coins, matches, wedding souvenirs, nails, pins, incense, was used to “drive away cockroaches”, was washed with bleach, and if it was forgotten for too long, then it could collapse under dirt and dust.

But the jar remained there on the shelf. If you were in this house and you were asked what you see when you look at it … What would you say? Surely you would say without hesitation that it is a glass jar. ”

Why are you telling us this story?

How can it make you feel better, more easily deal with the negative things that may have happened to you, as well as the positive things that were then but are not or have stopped happening? to be ?

You need to understand that this is not just the story of a glass jar, but in reality it is a metaphor for life.

I have been through many things, but something remains constant: ME

Like this glass jar, you too have an unchanging and inherent essence.

You will have experienced disappointments, abandonment, you will have suffered indifference, betrayal, and suffered damage caused by malicious people.

A lot of that damage is still there with you, which is why you have become a more suspicious, if not more fierce person.

Very negative things can happen to you again, of course, but this time nobody puts them in the jar, except yourself: indeed, you deposit there fear, loss of interest. , painful memories and endless tears.

If you keep overloading this glass jar it may break for good, so stop overloading it with negative and lasting things.

Come back to your essence and your true self, be aware that whatever may happen, if you stay alive, you will again be brought to experience good things and bad things, but you will stay there, and the world will recognize you.

Take control of what happened in your life to become yourself again

Knowing that you are solely responsible for the path you choose to take in life is something that is extremely responsible, but that responsibility which knows freedom.

As a child, you didn’t know what could happen to you, but you did know what you wanted to be.

Surely you did not imagine yourself scared to death or unable to forgive, whether with yourself or with others.

“I don’t believe in chance or need; my will is fate. ”

-John Milton-

Then use all of your experience to learn and draw life lessons based only on your experiences.

Forget some, transform others, take revenge on them, and laugh at them. Renew or die.

To renew oneself to become again the me which receives various experiences which do not transform who I am if I do not allow it.

Or give yourself the luxury of blending into whatever is happening to you so that your essence feeds on the positive and you can get a little closer to the state you want to be.

Chase away what is not worth continually thinking about, since it has nothing to do with you even if it happened to you.

Wisdom is therefore that, but it is also knowing how to reaffirm yourself in the face of the world, to say openly what is happening beyond judgments, stigmatizations and compassionate comments, and it is to become yourself again, by rediscovering your essence.

Because you have learned that you are not the experiences that you live, but the essence which receives them and which also lets them go.