The Bullying Nobody Talks About: These Parents Who Colonize The School

Today, the reality of school bullying or bullying is more and more visible thanks to courageous voices, to looks that refuse to adopt a passive attitude and to victims of this great social problem who understand that they are not. do not have to feel ashamed or stigmatized.

It is difficult to fight bullying in a socio-economic structure that contains dysfunctional and harmful values, values ​​that are the perfect alibi for people who harass. One need only watch sports news, shows, TV shows, video games and series to understand that the problem is entrenched and chronic. But there is relief and it is very powerful: now we can talk about it.

The “parts” involved: a whole that reflects our society

The harasser is justified by certain qualities which are related to success and charisma; the harassed person is stigmatized and put aside by his / her particularity or quite simply because he / she has the role of the scapegoat who exempts others from receiving aggression.

The spectating party, who are the busiest and most dense groups, refuses to get involved in a conflict that they do not feel to be their own  because the company instills in them that it is not very “profitable”, “pragmatic” and even counterproductive.

If we want harassment to be detected and dealt with, we cannot stay on the surface of things, as spectators or as recipients of denunciations. Harassment and abuse go far beyond beating or teasing.

Sometimes the stalker is a true reflection of what is happening in our environment: the rejection of excellence, the cancellation of diversity, the exclusion of originality. We choose a vulnerable target, without privileges. Moreover, it is not only the target of anger but the obvious consequence of a loophole in everyone, because no one manages to catch the facts in time.

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Commercialism and the false concept of success as the origin of today’s harassment

Harassment, as we understand it today, has been a taboo issue for years. Today, it is the adhesion to the new wave of psychology and pedagogy influenced by wild competitiveness. We forget everything that gets in the way, we commercialize all the resources of the schools, we throw balloons if a group of children do not adapt to it.

We can see that we teach several languages ​​to children, not for the cultural richness, but for the material richness that one day they will be able to draw from it. We deepen less and less in subjects like philosophy. We teach them and we prepare them to win, when they do not know how to coexist.

We do not talk to them about other realities and we do not work on empathy, which could prevent many cases of harassment. This reality is too gloomy and the advance of resources does not go in the direction of great educational advances. It is not enough to have 20/20 in homework if you have 0 in education.

If we don’t want harassment, if we want equality and if we want education, we can do it. The essential condition to succeed in painting a warm and comfortable reality is to know how to fertilize the field to avoid harassment. There is no magic wand for this, you have to work on it day after day, together. Create awareness and not indifference.

Parents colonizing the school space: a current harassment that nobody talks about

We must be able to detect what bullying has in common, but also how it can be hidden behind other behaviors, such as that of parents, teachers and students. Lately, over-protection and the absolute delegation to school centers of an education which competes with that of the parents has caused serious problems of discipline in the classrooms.

There is confusion between the roles and desires of current parents. On the one hand, they want their children to stay longer doing their activities outside the home (especially at school). On the other hand, without getting involved, they claim to have total authority over the professionals who work with their children.

The problem with education today is that there has not been a gradual and optimal transition between the old, obsolete and authoritarian models of education and the cooperative and democratic models that confiscate authority from professionals. s of education.

This affects education in general, but particularly the problem of bullying . How can teachers or school psychologists denounce a situation of abuse when their skills are systematically questioned by parents and even by their own students?

Today there is a certain denaturalization of school development in many children, which causes great difficulties in detecting cases of bullying. More and more activities are carried out at school. Celebrations and birthdays that should be a celebration for everyone, but from which some children are starting to be excluded following the decision of parents of other students.

The quarrels between adults which are projected on a common space. Other parents are spectators but refuse to take sides. Professors cannot rely on collaborators and reliable data to change the dynamics of the situation. Children see the reinforced exclusion behaviors around them. Harassment of children at school stems from parental attitudes.

Many adults start to behave like “children”. They question the teachers in a systematic way, they refuse to see any bad behavior of their child. They stigmatize the behavior of other children, amplify and fuel any quarrel between two children instead of opting for dialogue. It is also silent harassment, which no one talks about.

Don’t let bullying take new forms

But there is a joy: the old harassment has been detected and today we are trying to raise awareness and eradicate it. We must not let it take other forms and feed on new roots.

Let’s detect with anticipation this new type of harassment which, when it is not silent, alleviates the discomfort. Let us not turn our children into puppets of our frustrations, by affixing them labels which can provoke in them the famous “Pygmalion effect” (self-fulfilling prophecy).

Let us let them make mistakes or good deeds before we think we have the right to establish principles about their behavior and personality, which conditions others in the way they relate to them. Let us never become spectators, but above all do not create, with our model, attitudes of harassment in our little ones.

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