Why Are You On The Defensive?
Being on the defensive is an apparently self-protective attitude in anticipation of danger or the behavior of someone who may harm us.
When we take on this role, we transform and our whole body goes on alert. He speaks for us, and the body language indicates there is tension, rigidity, and a defensive attitude.
In addition, our non-verbal language changes depending on the situation we are going through. This language uses a more serious tone, we have a greater flow of words, and facial gestures of embarrassment, discontent and even danger.
Without a doubt, even if we do not say a word, being on the defensive is a way of relating to the world around us.
How to defend yourself?
In addition to body and non-verbal language, we also express ourselves in a determined way when we are on the defensive.
Our words claim to protect us from possible attack or danger, and we can make use of justifications, attacks or reproaches towards others.
In many cases, the way of expressing oneself is inappropriate and not very respectful, because we feel hurt, embarrassed or angry with those around us, because of what has happened or something that we imagine. that will happen.
It is possible that this is the result of discomfort, as the saying goes “the best defense is attack”.
Without really having any reason, we use attack, reproach, irony, sarcasm and even hurtful expressions, with the intention of saving ourselves or putting ourselves in the same situation as the person against whom we owe us. protect.
Thus, far from protecting us, the defensive attitude warns us, in tension and we feel embarrassed, irritated and even irritable.
Subconsciously, we think more about how we are going to defend ourselves from an attack, even if it has not yet happened, rather than taking advantage of the situation, and simply learning from it, by observing and by discovering the person we have in front of us.
Being on the defensive hurts us, because every time we find ourselves immersed in this attitude, our discomfort grows stronger and stronger.
In truth, we are not protecting ourselves from anyone and even exposing ourselves all the more because we are showing the other person our feelings and our lack of strategies to deal effectively with the situation.
Why do we take this defensive stance?
Without a doubt, when we adopt a defensive attitude, it is because we do not feel protected or confident in ourselves. For that, we need to protect ourselves, to defend ourselves and in a way, to make it known.
How to deal with situations in another way?
First of all, we must make an effort to perceive external situations as objectively as possible, that is to say, without attributing to them the danger that makes our teeth stick out.
It is more appropriate to observe the situation as a spectator before interpreting it and thus, we will not feel attacked by it.
It is possible that there are other explanations, less alarming for this situation and which do not require a defensive attitude. Indeed, it may not be an attack.
To protect yourself, it is necessary to work with and for your personal safety. For this, it is necessary to take appropriate care of our self-esteem.
You have to know yourself well enough to know who we really are, what we want in life and how we’re going to get it.
This is a good way to not be affected by everything that is happening around us, because it is not about an attack, but about a divergent or different opinion from our own.
As long as we know what we are like and how we are going to follow our dreams, we don’t need to be defensive because we have confidence in ourselves.
