There Are Days When You Need A Hug But You Don’t Want To See Anyone

There are days like this: out of tune, weird and contradictory. These are the times when we need the warmth of a hug, and that warm skin that brings us affection and closeness. However, and almost at the same time, we feel the urge to escape to a private corner where no one sees us, where we can think in silence with loneliness as our only companion.

What is happening to us? Is something wrong with us if we are going through this type of situation or emotional state? The answer is no. One should not see pathological states at specific times which, in reality, are completely normal. The problem only arises when these become chronic.

“You are the master of what you have lived, the craftsman of what you are going through, and the apprentice of what you will experience.”

-Richard Bach-

On the other hand, you should know that this type of emotional contradiction arises on multiple occasions and for many reasons. Sometimes they are due to small fluctuations in hormones or even the simple change of seasons, where the adhesion potential of serotonin goes down and where mood swings appear.

But one of the most common origins is found in those around us and in the way we deal with and deal with everyday situations. Because the world and human relations are also very contradictory, chaotic and even capricious. There are mornings when everything shines with the color of hope, but in the afternoon, disillusion appears and certainties slip away under our feet, one after the other.

How can we better deal with these dissonances and these outer and inner highs and lows? In this article, we are going to give you some keys for that.

Learning to live with contradiction

We would all like to live in a world of certainties. Firm feelings, precise logics and where ambiguity has no place. However, let it be clear: the world, society and even ourselves, with our complex emotional world, are dissonant and changeable. Almost unwittingly, we have to make great efforts to achieve harmony in the midst of chaos, for this is how we grow, how we learn to little by little and day by day to self-regulate, and to find our own. balance.

Let’s learn to accept this type of contradiction, both your own and those of others. There will be days when, indeed, everything will go perfectly and times when it will seem that every line is twisted and where hope does not emerge from under the stones. We will feel lonely, hurt, and even full of anger in the face of such frustration, but at the same time, we will need a hug, solace, and closeness.

Let’s make an effort to coexist with both complexity and uncertainty. Accepting with normality that nothing is completely certain, that life represents cycles, that relationships change and even that we also change in our needs and our priorities, is a way of warding off the fate of ill-being. Because anyone who is obsessed and clings to the need for permanence suffers. Whoever does not accept the change, the loss or even the challenge that knocks on their door risks to stop growing as a person.

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Those days when you need a hug as much as you need to be alone

Admittedly, there is no worse feeling than being angry with the world, but at the same time needing the most basic, the purest and the most understanding love. To feel this sensation, as curious as it sounds, is something completely normal, a reality that we will experience over and over again.

“You can’t untangle a knot without knowing how it’s made.”

-Aistotle-

Igor Grossman, professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Waterloo, Canada, tells us that these moments of emotional contradiction can actually be very productive. They are important because of one essential aspect: they can help us see a situation from multiple perspectives. However, in the event that we do not deal well with this whirlwind of opposing emotions and allow them to become constant in our life, we run the risk of developing depression.

So let’s learn to dissect and analyze these emotions to get the best out of them. We explain how.

Learn to deal with emotional contradiction

The first step in unraveling the ball of our little emotional chaos is to make acceptance. But to accept does not mean to surrender to suffering. It is recognizing what happens to us in a realistic, sincere, courageous and sensitive way.

• Under the microscope of your consciousness, put every reality that is in the puzzle of your discomfort. “I feel angry because I have been disappointed”, “I feel fear because I do not know which direction to take”, “I would like such person to understand what is happening to me”…

• The second step has to do with the need to give productive and effective responses. To do this, you have to invest a little courage, a lot of ingenuity and a strong dose of will in the process. “If I want such and such a person to understand what is happening to me, I must tell him”. “If I have been disappointed, if I have been hurt, I have to turn the page and meet new people, change the scenery.”

Perhaps the last step in this emotional self-management strategy is the most important. We’re talking about the need to control limiting beliefs, intrusive thoughts, negative obsessions, and that psychological artillery with which we self-sabotage.

Knowing, controlling and managing our universe of emotions is a weapon of power and well-being. It is achieving inner harmony in a world at contradictory times, achieving balance at times when everything is crumbling around us and our emotional partitions are unraveling.

We all deserve a hug every now and then, a hug that covers us completely. But above all, we have an obligation to take care of ourselves, as precious beings, as treasures of our own universes.

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