Being Too Modest Can Have Some Drawbacks
Being too modest is as bad as anything taken to the extreme. The key is in this “too”. Because of this word, great qualities can turn into faults and great pleasures into torture. Excess almost always pushes us to distort the nature of things.
Modesty is a great virtue, which is linked to important human values such as simplicity, humility and moderation. It is opposed to vanity and sufficiency, two traits that have gained tremendous ground in today’s world. The modest person does not need – and does not want – to come forward by bragging about something. However, one who is too modest inevitably ends up minimizing her achievements and her qualities.
While it is true that excessive arrogance ends up generating antipathy and erecting a barrier with others, too much modesty does not lead to healthy relationships, either with other people or with others. ourselves. Anyone who takes away value from what they are and what they do may derive some benefit from it, but in return loses opportunities to reaffirm themselves and get all the recognition they deserve.
Being too modest: the face of inhibition
It is true that being too modest facilitates certain aspects of social relations. The person who behaves in this way is perceived as harmless and it saves him all jealousy, envy and confrontation. In today’s world, a lot of people are too competitive. In fact, social networks have only increased our competitive spirit. However, a very modest person manages to avoid these tensions.
One who feels sure of himself does not need to show off, brag or gain recognition from others. It can therefore be modest, in a natural and spontaneous way. However, this is not what happens with the person trying to be too modest. She does not want to simply stay away from all pride: she intends to hide, to reduce herself, and even to become invisible.
We could therefore say that excessive modesty is not a sign of humility but of inhibition. The person fears the reactions of others and, for this, imitates himself. So no one can see her. It’s as if she doesn’t have the right to be equal or better than others in different ways. In a way, one finds a feeling of shame vis-à-vis oneself.
Pride is different from complacency
We often confuse pride and pride. However, in reality, these are two very different realities. Pride speaks to us of an exalted self-esteem. The superb is more related to a wounded self-esteem. Self-esteem is the result of self-acceptance. Pride arises when, out of this reality, we manage to do something that further reinforces this feeling of being comfortable with who we are.
The superb, on the other hand, is more of a sham. She seeks recognition and exaltation from others. It establishes a distance that allows you to feel superior and, thanks to this, improves your opinion of yourself. The superb does not share the successes. There is a certain bitterness in its essence, and nothing manages to fill it.
This arrogance is therefore an attempt to compensate for a lack of self-esteem. It is generally artificial and aggressive. If others do not recognize this person’s worth, they will feel extremely frustrated. She will be unable to express positive things about herself, regardless of what others think.
Pride is necessary
Modesty and pride are not so far apart. These realities are not mutually exclusive: they complement each other. A person can feel proud of who they are, of their achievements, and remain modest. It is about not bragging, not trying to gain admiration or recognition from others, while not trying to minimize yourself or become invisible.
By being too modest or too proud, one places a disproportionate importance in the eyes of others. In the first case, because we are afraid of him and because we feel a feeling of shame and incapacity. In the second case, because we seek to be superior to others. The superb requires to compare oneself, to win and to emphasize it well to others.
Feeling proud of who we are and what we are successful at is positive and healthy. Anything that has required work on our part deserves our own recognition. It is also positive to share it with others, as we might share a feeling of sadness or defeat. The opinions of others have acquired an abnormal importance. It is therefore recommended not to let yourself be invaded by this “fashion” and to evaluate yourself according to your own criteria.
Our thoughts Extreme modesty, far from the modesty that normally represents a quality, can hide fears and great insecurity.
