The Best Things Are Always Free: Dreaming, Kissing, Laughing …

The best things in our existence are never “things”, they are moments, lessons, memories, intense hugs in the rain, and emotions that run through our skin with sincere words whispered in our ears.

All of this happens when we feel truly free and receptive to what surrounds us, without fears or limiting attitudes.

One of the premises that define positive psychology is the famous question: how to be happy?

Martin Seligman, trend representative and famous psychologist who has worked extensively on depression and defenselessness, tells us that one way to achieve happiness is through “commitment” .

It would be this ability to invest ourselves in positive and simple aspects of life, such as dreaming, cuddling, laughing …

As curious as it may seem, it is not always easy to realize the way in which these simple acts enrich us.

Sometimes we lose track and end up building a life for ourselves in which we are not happy.

We set up our own prisons and settings where we lose the value of the simplest, most authentic things …

Positive psychology and the value of simple things

Until recently, psychology focused primarily on the description of areas associated with pathologies or negative aspects such as depression, stress, anxiety.

Hardly anyone has benefited from something as essential as learning to be happy.

It is as if each of us came into the world with a “factory chip” already installed that inevitably directs us to a state where happiness does not exist.

Human beings have a strong propensity not to be happy or at least not to feel as fulfilled or satisfied as they would like.

This is why in 1999, the Gallup organization founded the Institute of Positive Psychology and in 2006, Martin Seligman became one of the main banners of this trend which emphasizes different aspects, like the fact that wealth does not buy happiness or that modernity or technology does not make people happier …

Positive Psychology teaches something essential: negative emotions help us survive individually. Fear drives us to flee, and sadness to recognize that something is wrong to “rebuild us inside”.

On the other hand, positive emotions allow us to connect with others to survive as a species, hence hugs, pleasant words, hugs, friendship, love …

The best things are never “things”

Tal Ben-Shahar is a reference in the field of the study of happiness and leadership.

He is a professor at Harvard University and his classes always break enrollment records because his theories arouse great interest, as do his books such as “Learning to Happiness” or “Learning to Be Happy: Cahier d ‘. exercises and recipes ”.

It is clear that the general public is not interested in the reasons for depression or the symptoms of stress.

We want to be explained to us how to be a little happier or at least, how to succeed in harmonizing with our interior and with those around us to feel good. 

Here are the keys that Professor Tal Ben-Shahar offers us.

Keys to Finding Happiness

The best things are the ones that don’t schedule and come up spontaneously. One of the hotbeds of stress and dissatisfaction is setting goals that are too high and wanting to achieve unrealistic goals.

• The need to appear eternally young, to accumulate things, to be successful… All of this has limits and this limit is to succeed in not falling into neurotic perfectionism but into the positive.

• We must not be afraid of fear. We said it previously: negative emotions such as fear are touches of individual attention that you have to know how to listen to and accept, in order to then overcome.
  If we live, for example, with the fear of making mistakes, we will never learn anything, and we will never give opportunities and changes a chance.

• Discover your emotions and use them! We already know that negative emotions are weapons of self-knowledge, and when it comes to positive emotions, we need to see them as channels of fulfillment and growth.
  The simple fact of fostering them every day through affection, empathetic communication, respect and tenderness, will allow us to connect with others to be able to grow inside and outside, and be much more free. .

To conclude, Ben-Shahar tells us that we should not be obsessed with the idea of ​​eternal happiness. This is even more than an impossible ideal. Rather, it is about freeing ourselves from all possible burdens and living in balance, harmony, serenity.

The best things aren’t always the things that lead to money and success. In fact, it is possible that genuine happiness is already on our side, with our friends, our spouse, our children …