Until Boredom Do Us Part!
When we enter into a relationship, it is normal that we feel full of joy and hope, as if a supernatural force is pushing us and carrying us up to heaven. If the adventure continues and if we want to formalize it, we can get married or enter a pacsion. However, many people are perhaps unaware that weariness can appropriate the phrase “until death do us part”.
Sometimes it is not easy to explain how you can go from 0 to 100 in a few months or a few years. What exactly happens in a relationship so that both members can no longer bear the quirks or faults of the other? Is it because of the cohabitation? Lack of privacy? Of a decline in passion?
How do you go from passion to boredom
Disappointment is one of the reasons why passion can be replaced by boredom. When the two members of a couple start a life together, it makes sense that it is all about emotion and happiness. But, without wanting to demotivate yourself, it is necessary to take into account “the other part”: the one that you have not yet had the opportunity to see in the other.
When it comes to distributing the chores and expenses of the house, it is usual to see small conflicts arise. And while it is best to be able to resolve them in a friendly way, it is likely that this hidden side of the other will disappoint you. Certain attitudes or behaviors that you did not know before may surprise or discourage you completely.
Another motive is indifference. As a consequence of a prolonged and unfriendly cohabitation, one can manage to develop this feeling of apathy, disgust and rejection of the other. It corresponds to that moment when everything he does seems refutable, improvable, and wrong to you. You argue over nonsense and you don’t allow anything anymore. Until the day when, literally, “you don’t care anymore”. You resign yourself and you live unhappy in a concomitant boredom.
Watch out for boredom and routine
Routine, lack of enthusiasm and spontaneity, absence of surprises and interests, weak bases, lack of shared passions… Here are many things that can lead to boredom. But just as it takes two people to quarrel, so the cause of boredom in a couple is rooted in both members.
If you feel sad or don’t want to go out, let the other person know. This will be able to relieve you but also allow the other to know how to help you. If you turn everything you do in a relationship into a routine, you’ll end up in irreparable boredom too.
For example, if you normally feel like going to the movies on Fridays, there are two ways to deal with this point. You can think of it as an activity you do to get out of the routine and have fun together, or as a predictable and lacking in excitement. The first solution is much better, isn’t it?
Attitudes that lead to boredom
Lack of confidence, being guided by jealousy, insecurity, feelings of inferiority or lack of honesty. Here are some of the attitudes we often tend to adopt when we are uncomfortable in a relationship. They all lead to a breakup or boredom. So, if you want your relationship to last a long time, talk to your partner and improve communication within the couple.
Another very common mistake that can destroy a couple, in addition to the communication that we will talk about later, is the lack of support. Often when we have a problem and try to talk about it, we back off because we are convinced that the other will not understand us. The situation is even worse when we relate to him and do not feel supported, protected or understood. To avoid this, take empathy as a companion in your life.
Moreover, the lack of time is one of the other great enemies of a healthy relationship. It is important to take a few minutes a day to talk with your partner. To give him a hug or to give him a look that fills him with energy. Stress and working hours are high risk factors.
Communication is the solution
As you can see, having a healthy and stable relationship is not always a simple task and requires effort as well as conscious involvement on the part of both members. Especially when a myth has traveled from generation to generation, this myth which affirms that “when the man speaks, he gets tired and, on the contrary, when the woman speaks, she rests”.
Women, because of their upbringing and the social roles they have had to adopt, have always tended to position themselves on the side of communication. The man, on the other hand, because of the stereotype of the protector and the image of a harsh person, has opted more for silence.
Today, the lack of communication in a relationship is the root of its failure. If something bothers you about the other person – for example, the fact that he never puts his clothes in the dirty laundry basket or that he does not take out the trash – you better tell him. Not for the purpose of arguing but to manifest your thoughts. In addition, the success of the relationship is not just about pointing out the negative points of the other (you also have to remember that they have to listen to you and change). The most important is love. Thus, you must also communicate all the positive points: do not forget to point out to him everything that pleases you about him.
If the other person is aware of the things that are bothering you, they may be able to moderate or change those habits that bother you. And if he doesn’t, don’t take it personally: tell yourself that nothing is perfect in this world. Just like him, you have extravagances and flaws.
And, on the contrary, if you decide to keep silent, you will omit information that can strengthen your bonds and your internal discomfort will grow more and more. You will end up exploding for any reason. To communicate is to live. In the end, what one does not say and what the other does not know does not exist.
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