Letter To Emotional Pain

You are that kind of pain that I don’t want to face. You are the emotional wound that arises from hardship and feeds on abuse. You are betrayal, disappointment, injustice, humiliation and abandonment.

I try to run away from you and not look you in the eye, because the only thing that relieves me is the reflection of normalcy. I hide my eyes because I don’t want to live hurt, but I’m tired of saying it’s okay.

I smile when I don’t feel like it and try to move on, but I’m tired of pretending, it’s exhausting and hopeless. There is nothing more painful than pretending all is well when something is eating away at us inside.

When this happens, we end up falling into a spiral that absorbs us and puts pressure on our soul.

For this reason, I decided to close this wound which is in me. More than once I have felt my soul tear apart and my hope die.

This suffering is the work of a criminal. A criminal who tore my heart out, who took advantage of my innocence and who fed my cruelty sentences. A thief who stole my strength.

I was so scared to fly with my broken wings that I stopped trying to figure out that part of me that was sobbing.

In other words, my body became the grave of my soul and I started to collapse without putting up any resistance.

However, there is no better way to get up than hitting rock bottom. I realized that trying to run away from what hurt me was to perpetuate and exacerbate my problems, and, above all, devastate my emotions.

I realized that I could no longer lie to myself and neglect myself like that, and that if something hurts me I can’t say it’s okay. So, I realized that feeling this pain of life freely was the best escape.

Pain is only the first stage of suffering, and I still have time to heal myself before irremediable harm arises.

Let’s say feeling like this is a red flag that our mind uses to alert us that something is plaguing our well-being.

Understanding is achieved through emotional pain

Usually, hard knocks take us by surprise and it hurts us so much that we always try to avoid them.

We then become experts in avoiding all that is painful in life. For example, this happens when we are on the verge of breaking up.

It is obvious that the estrangement is getting worse and worse, but we want to believe that everything is fine and that eventually everything will work out.

This type of masochistic behavior causes us to develop an excessive tolerance for pain. We believe that in order not to lose “our status as person / spouse / friend / woman / man / father / mother etc.” we have to sacrifice ourselves and therefore suffer.

In other words, by getting used to pain, we justify this tendency to total and unmeasured dedication by which we try to make sense of our behavior and even our life.

So when we go through a painful stage, we unconsciously try to move forward, as if nothing had happened. However, with this attitude, we only manage to embed the suffering and allow it to take root.

In this way, the pain intensifies, reaching our most vital feelings and emotions. In short, escaping suffering is impossible, and the only way we have to make it go away is to allow ourselves to live it until it is exhausted …