Our Window Of Tolerance: What Is It And How Does It Affect Us?
Imagine remembering a large part of your personal experiences with an uncontrollable emotional overflow. When we are in states of hyper or hypo-activation, we stay outside our window of tolerance, while being inside the window helps us to optimize our functioning.
But what is this window of tolerance? The window of tolerance represents the range of emotional intensity that each of us is capable of feeling. Individuals can therefore feel secure, learn and enjoy life in this range, in this window.
What does it mean to be outside the tolerance window?
Emotions overwhelm us sometimes for different reasons. Mistrust, the lack of strategies to manage emotions, the inability to think, the denial of the need to feel… The two limits of the window of tolerance correspond to two extreme states of optimal activation of the organism:
- Hyperactivation: this is a state in which certain emotions are strongly felt (fear, anger, joy, shame…). It corresponds to the increase in the activity of the sympathetic nervous system.
- Hypoactivation: This is a state of avoidance to be felt for different reasons, such as internal experiences that block us or the inability to feel new enriching experiences. It corresponds to the increase in the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system.
Depending on individual experiences, we are configured to experience life in one way or another. So, for various reasons, some people become reactive. For example, they suffer from panic attacks or anger. But at the other extreme we find people who are disconnected from their body and / or their mind. Thought flows slowly and it is even difficult for them to move.
In situations of danger and / or trauma, the body acts to survive. It therefore sets in motion mechanisms which sometimes fail to regain their “normal state”. People who find themselves outside the window of tolerance are usually those who have had to act in the face of this type of difficult situation and in which their basal state of security and relaxation has been altered.
How to stay within the tolerance window?
Neuroscientific research has shown that the only way to change how we feel in these cases is to become aware of our inner experience, respect it, and learn to live with it. The practice of mindfulness, mindfulness calms the nervous system. It helps us to recognize our emotions and to better control them.
Teachers, such as Pat Ogden and Peter Levine, have developed body therapies, psychomotor psychotherapy and somatic experimentation to recover normal functioning of the body. In Peter Levine’s approach to therapy, the story of what happened takes a back seat. Indeed, it is the physical sensations that are explored. This process of entering and leaving internal sensations and traumatic memories is called the “pendulum process”. It therefore contributes to gradually widening the window of tolerance.
7 basic steps in the practice of emotional regulation
The “limits of our window of tolerance” is a concept developed by Siegel (cf., Simon, 2011). It links them to the practice of mindfulness, which allows you to stay within the window of tolerance. M ind fulness develops prefrontal structures. The latter therefore facilitate both the modulation of emotions and the maintenance of emotional balance. The practice oriented towards the regulation of emotions has seven stages. Their order and number can however be alternated:
- Stop
- Breathe deeply to calm down
- Become aware of the emotion
- Accept the experience and the emergence of emotion
- Granting affection (self-compassion)
- Let go or release the emotion
- Act or not, depending on the circumstances
Our attachment history largely marks the extent of our window of tolerance. This can be seen in the way we take care of ourselves. We can therefore think of taking care of oneself in a positive way as an attitude or a mental state in which the person accepts himself, takes action and leaves space for personal growth and development. Thus, living within our window of tolerance allows us to live a pleasant, engaged and meaningful life.
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