I Am Not Looking For Anything, I Am Not Expecting Anything: I Am Happy In My Celibacy

Far from being a sentimental state, celibacy actually describes a person who advances in concrete stages in his life, with fullness and freedom, without expecting anything or without feeling obliged to look for someone.

Because being single does not always mean being available. Sometimes we just choose to engage with ourselves.

Although most studies claim that married people are generally happier than single people, the same work has many nuances in their results: the most satisfied couples are those who are good companions and excellent accomplices.

Likewise, it is very common to go through several emotional relationships before finding – or not – the right person.

I do not expect anything and do not seek: I live my celibacy with satisfaction because I choose to engage with myself, because I do not need a spouse to understand what happiness is.

It is obvious that emotional relationships can bring us the most beautiful happiness and suddenly lead to great disappointment.

Love is something worth experiencing, without a doubt. But, it is never good to make this quest our only raison d’être.

Happiness, well-being and balance must be born of ourselves, it is like an imperishable fire capable of guiding us on our path. Whether alone or hand in hand with someone.

When loneliness becomes a personal “state” for society

Not long ago, the media around the world recounted a story titled “Chinese Women Surplus”.

In this patriarchal country where tradition is very strong, the one-child policy has changed. The engines of progress demand that women fulfill their duty in terms of motherhood.

So when a girl is over 25 and has no husband, she and her family are reported to the state.

These young people then receive the nickname of “Sheng Nu” (extra women) and they are asked to enter the “market” to find a husband.

However, many of these girls resist and want to break free from this stigma.

They defend their celibacy and above all fight for their individuality, something that does not go so well with a regime “with a communist tendency”.

Celibacy is becoming a social status and therefore a category in many countries. In reality, you don’t have to go to the land of the rising sun to see this type of behavior.

In closer contexts, this type of idea is also very implicit but very present. Singles are not seen as “too many” people in society, but as “incomplete” people.

In fact, in many countries being 40 and still single is more than a personal failure.

To give an example, here is an illustration. Its author is Idalia Candelas and with her graphic work, she tells us about the delicate situation of single women in Mexico.

Even if they are not well regarded, single women live alone but without suffering and without being depressed.

They feel confident and enjoy their own company, even if society doesn’t always understand it.

I’m not expecting anything, I’m not looking for anything …

There is an article that revolutionized the academic world when it was published. It brought together two words: “Happily Single” .

For decades, happiness went hand in hand with love, relationships, an emotional relationship and living together.

Sometimes loneliness is the price of freedom and teaches us more than any company.

Suddenly the term “single” became fashionable and even travel agencies and event planners saw a new field to explore.

Now, even though singles are a big part of marketing, they all come up with the same formula: make a single person want to find a partner, so that they give up their celibacy. We then fall into the same vicious circle.

A social and economic irony that contrasts with reality. Let’s see this in detail.

There are singles who seek nothing, and expect nothing

Celibacy is not a crossroads or a waiting room where we wait to resume our role of spouse, of sentimental companion. There are singles who, quite simply, do not wait, and do not seek anything.

• Each case is unique and each of us undoubtedly has our own team of experiences, but many people find that celibacy brings a very fulfilling life.
  They can focus on their interests, their passions and even make meaningful decisions when they are alone.

• There will undoubtedly be those who desire to find the person who has the same dreams, who fits perfectly into their voids and their values, but that is not why they will be obsessed in this quest of every moment.
  Sometimes we limit ourselves to “letting ourselves be found” while advancing on our path, on the path of personal development where we feel good with ourselves.

Where nothing is expected, everything is possible …