Knowing Yourself And Others

When someone asks you the question: Who are you? Most people say: I am Laura, I am 25 years old, I am married, I work as an office worker…

Your age, your name, your job, your personal situation, are nothing more than identification data. What we really are lies deep within our being.

Whether you have a good job or a bad job, more or less property, married, single, estranged, it doesn’t give important information about who you really are.

To know yourself, you have to leave all these external aspects aside and dive into your interior, into sensations, attitudes, etc …

Who are we? If I am not my work or my property, I define myself as a responsible, human, honest, intelligent person … But these definitions that you give yourself, do not really describe you either, because what you think of yourself- even, may not be reality.

Indeed, it could be that you distort reality, for various reasons. There are some people who have oversized egos and when it comes to defining themselves they exaggerate things in their favor.

Otherwise, someone with low self-esteem exaggerates things to their disadvantage when defining themselves.

So how do we know who we really are ?, Can I trust what I think ?, Can I trust what other people think of me?

I am what I do, not what I think

To really get to know yourself, leave out the labels and definitions. Think about deeper things, for example, like what is really important in life to me? How would I like to live? What values ​​do I have?

We are what we do, not what we say. For example, imagine someone telling you that their biggest priority in life is becoming independent, but that person happens to be 41 years old and still living with their parents.

What information does this situation give us? If a person really wants something, they will go out of their way to get it. It could be a person who seeks ease, without the spirit of effort and sacrifice, to stay in their comfort zone, without doing anything to change the situation.

We can say a lot in words, but the real information is in what we have accomplished, where we are and the actions we take.

You can get to know yourself better with your actions and reactions than with your ideas and beliefs.

What bothers you, stresses you out, and bothers you?  What you perceive as flaws in others is part of your identity. Tell me what’s bothering you and I’ll tell you who you are.

You can get to see the quality of a person in bad times. For example imagine two friends who have always confided about everything, even their most intimate secrets.

One day, they argue and end their friendship. Depending on how they react to this problem, you will see the integrity of the person. If despite being angry, they do not try to harm themselves or take advantage of the secrets they know from the other, we will be in front of a person of integrity with values.

If, on the contrary, an angry person tries to harm the other person behind their back, creating a bad image and rejoicing in their misfortunes, we will be faced with a vindictive person with little integrity.

It happens quite often that we don’t see this negative part in others until we go through times of stress and disagreement.

That’s why in good times we are all very good, but you will really get to know someone in bad times. 

Image courtesy of José Manuel Ríos Valiente and Peter Smile