Complicated People Or The Art Of Making Things Simple Difficult

There are  people  like that, complicated and demanding,  who find a problem in every solution, a contradiction in every evidence and a storm in every moment of calm. They are arrogant and steal all internal peace; they are complex personalities who love arguments, who exhaust, weaken, and whom we must learn to deal with in order to maintain our mental and emotional integrity.

Many of us would like to be able to put this type of profile in the “spam” folder or in a parallel dimension in which our near reality would remain safe and sound. However, if there is one thing we all know, it is that  we always find this kind of complicated people around us,  whether in our family, in our work environment or in our group of friends,  and that we are – almost – obliged to cohabit with.

Sometimes, getting away from complicated people even improves our health …

Confucius said in his texts  that there are people who seem to find some type of reward in finding loopholes in others. It can become very disabling if the person carrying out this practice is none other than our spouse or a father / mother with his children. The “complicated” personality, understood as one that exhibits erratic, unequal, narcissistic, manipulative and sometimes psychologically aggressive behaviors, contains within it nuances that it is necessary to know in depth.

The art  of making it simple difficult  conceals a labyrinth of emotional issues that are useful to uncover.

Complicated people or the ability to see the world in a negative light

We are all complicated in our own way. Each of us has these particular balls lodged in the mind and the heart, where fears mingle with insecurities and frustrations with anxieties. However, the main difference from these other profiles who live on the more extreme side of complexity is the inability to establish functional, respectful and stable social and emotional relationships.

The most distinctive trait in these people is  their obvious emotional instability. Something like this undoubtedly points to a series of underlying issues that explain this rigidity, inflexibility and constant inclination to look for loopholes in others, to make things simple complicated, and to take root in the basements. of negativity.

Complicated people, and it is important to take this into account, can suffer from dysthymia  (an affective disorder or chronic mood disorder)  or even some kind of personality disorder which, no doubt, makes it difficult. daily and meaningful relationships with people in their closest circle.

Other times, and this is what Daniel Goleman talks about in his book “Emotional Intelligence”, when we go through situations of intense stress and continuous over time, we stop thinking clearly, we are not able to recognize priorities and we have a “natural tendency” to see things as much more complicated than they actually are.

With all of these elements, we want to point out one thing that is as simple as it is obvious: Difficult and complicated people, those with whom we sometimes have a hard time living together,  may be hiding an underlying problem that would explain this behavior. Sometimes it’s men or women who need help.

In addition,  it happens that we ourselves live, at a given moment, with this dark cloud in our head:  life then becomes terribly complicated, like a puzzle with missing pieces or like a game of tetris that would be impossible to do. to resolve.

Smart tactics for dealing with complicated people

Thanks to the elements that have been exposed previously, we now know that it is advisable to be sensitive to these behaviors and to understand that complicated people can be going through a delicate personal moment. However, there are also  people who have chronicled their quirks, their narcissistic subterfuges, and this occult right to make the lives of others difficult.

“Real things are always simple, but we always get there by taking the more complicated path.”

-George Sand-

If this is the case, if we find around us a person who presents these characteristics, we must first of all keep the following thing in mind:  we cannot change the way they are, but we can do something about the way we interact with them so that their actions affect us less. We explain how.

5 keys to staying in control with complicated profiles

The first thing we recommend, and the most obvious, is this: establish a distance. We are not only referring to a “physical distance” –  which is not always possible, as we well know –  but also to the need to establish psychological and emotional barriers. A complex challenge that we can overcome by following these few points:

• We must always communicate assertively.
• Be clear about how you feel to the complicated person whenever they say or do something that affects, hurts, or bothers you. Make it clear to him that his actions are having an effect on you.
• You have to give her details of the things that she cannot do or that she must not repeat.
• It is also recommended to offer her alternative actions so that she takes them into account  (next time, it would be good if you did not just focus on my mistakes, if you could provide solutions or propose ideas to the instead of criticizing everything would be much better. I know you can do it, I trust you).
• Finally, it is advisable to always remain calm and understand that getting excited will only make the situation more complicated. The ideal is to establish a distance and to create a space of safety.

To conclude, there are people who have a natural tendency to complicate their lives and to complicate the lives of others. We need to be able to understand their point of view and know if there is any problem behind it that needs our help. If not, all we have to do is open our emotional umbrellas to protect ourselves from their personal storms.