Agosto, The Film: Family Roles That Cause Psychological Damage

The family is the instrument of socialization which intervenes between the individual and the rest of the world. This is the first model we take to start bonding. This social starting point has an influence which very often goes well beyond childhood. Thus,  Agosto  is a film which reflects a reality far removed from an idyllic situation. But that repeats itself more than we would like.

This family environment seems to be ideal when seen from the outside. However, only those who know him from the inside know what is going on in each house. Characters who struggle between brotherly love for those who gave them life  and the dismal panorama of an environment filled with frustration, envy and competitiveness…  Instead of being dominated by love and protection .

Agosto  : synopsis

After the father of the family commits suicide, the widow calls  her three daughters to come home and attend the funeral. For each of the girls, this visit means reconnecting with the conflicts and resentments of the past.

The father has taken refuge in alcohol for years and the mother is addicted to drugs. The couple’s relationship is destructive  and is simply limited to satisfying the woman’s demands and complaints. She does not think she is being treated properly. She punishes her husband with impunity for an infidelity he committed several years earlier and which resulted in the birth of a child. Both hide this fact as a great family secret.

Both characters come from a marginal environment of poverty and abuse. Their parents were rough people who were used to the rigors of life. They are both proud to have stepped out of this world without opportunities and to have triumphed through their sacrifices and hard work.

Parents have projected their desires for success onto their daughters, but none seem to have fulfilled their expectations. The mother feels a deep contempt for the three  and never hesitates to question their lifestyle.

A passive-aggressive mother

The mother character presents some narcissistic elements but above all defines the passive-aggressive personality very well. She only focuses on the mistakes her daughters make. She blames them for having had opportunities that she herself did not have. Finally,  she is manipulative and overly theatrical and dramatic  when her ploys don’t work the way she wants them to.

She feels in competition with everyone and uses every information she gets from her daughters as a weapon. She also constantly uses the double-linked message  (negative-positive-negative comment).

Her daughters have made their life and she feels assaulted. She therefore does everything in her power to bring them back and remind them of “their obligations towards her”. Finally, she keeps telling them that she has had little luck in her life and that they have had a lot of opportunities.

The elder girl

The eldest daughter has always held the role of mediator. She always had to calm family crises. Whether with his little sisters or with his parents. So she has a tendency to control things. And this caused her many problems with her husband who filed for divorce. His family still does not know.

Her husband and daughter can’t stand her inability to relax with them. Despite all the love they feel for her. This character is going through a real internal struggle because of the generational patterns that have not been repeated.

The younger daughter

In traditional families, there is always a girl who has to  take care of the parents. In the film, it is the role of the youngest daughter. She didn’t get married, didn’t do much in her life except take care of her parents. This made him develop a great resentment towards these latter and his sisters. She has a very strange relationship with one of her first cousins ​​but no one knows it.

The mother fully accepts the role of her daughter but does not value it. She hides her guilt by constantly attacking him.

She reproaches him for not having started a family because of his unfeminine appearance and even dares to make fun of her. This girl has serious problems relating to other people  and seems to have developed an avoidant personality.

The youngest

The smallest of the sisters is totally lost. She is a very infantile and fragile woman  who seeks to please everyone in order to be accepted. She has spent her adult life building relationships. By taking risks with men who didn’t treat her well.

However, each time, she believes that it will be the right one. He is a very emotionally dependent person. She goes to great lengths to show her mother that she is happy. And that her current relationship is perfect and idyllic despite everything she’s going through. For the others, his meetings are only “the fiancé of this year”. It is difficult to move forward with the data provided by the film, but we are perhaps facing a borderline personality case. 

The models

All three girls grew up with  an assertive educational style. Their parents did not show them any kind of affection. And have exercised rigid control over their lives. There is a disorganized attachment to the three sisters, even though each has dealt with it in different ways.

However, when crises arise in the family, the first strategy they adopt is negation.  Each has developed different defense mechanisms to survive in this family environment.

Ultimately, from the outside,  it is a “normal” family circle , but from the inside it is extraordinarily dysfunctional. A host of triangulations take place there.

Agosto  is only a film but he knew how to take over the roles that are generally assigned to members of a family. It presents us with all the problems that these roles may cause in the future. In the form of frustrated and denied desires. The film takes place in August, with suffocating heat. An asphyxiation that we can feel in all the characters.

The Provincial Hospital of Castellón presented, a few months ago, a brilliant analysis of the film  Agosto  in one of its meta-training seminars. He explored each of the themes presented from a therapeutic point of view. These are roles we can find ourselves in. And this is a phenomenon that must be watched. For the well-being of those who suffer in these environments and those around them as adults.

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