Behind Every Person There Is A Story
There is a story behind each person, thoughts behind their expressions, emotions behind their appearance, and a soul under their skin.
All along the path of life, each of us experiences exceptional times, experiences things and meets people who inevitably leave a mark in their passage.
We sometimes believe that certain situations, or certain people, have passed through our life in a very discreet way, before they suddenly reappear at some point in our existence.
All of this shapes and shapes our experience and our feelings. Sometimes we experience intense moments, then others more ordinary, often in a conscious way, but also in an unconscious way.
It brings light and shadows, tones and nuances into our life.
When we observe someone who seems to be behaving strange or inexplicable, what is the point of giving our interpretation or perception of things?
We can only see things from our own point of view, made up of all the experiences and hardships we have been through. What do we know about the other? What do we know from inside?
It is very complicated to succeed in delving into all the complexity of a person and to come to know him intimately.
How can we guess the intentions and motivations of the people around us? What do we know about the way in which the other perceives a given situation?
We spend half of our time trying to verify our assumptions, and the other half judging the behaviors of others, as if we don’t already have enough work done with our personal issues.
Each person has a story and a sensitivity, very often different from ours. While it is easy for us to face a situation, or to express ourselves in such a way, that does not mean that it is the same for other people.
“A shoe that fits one person perfectly may be too small for another. There is no one recipe for life that works in all cases ”
(Carl Gustav Jung)
“If I were Marie, I would rest more”, “I do not understand how Alain stays with his wife, I could not support her in his place”, “I would be unable to have the same life as Christine”.
Maybe the people you are judging had an uncompromising mother, who always blamed them for something and as a result, they became perfectionists, and constantly try to improve themselves.
Or maybe they had a complicated relationship, in which insults and criticism flew in, which now prevents them from fully opening up to others.
Some of us have desperately sought the love of absent parents, and are constantly in demand for affection and tenderness, or conversely, reject anyone who tries to approach them.
Every story has different sides, and there are always several answers to the same question.
If we had been in the same situations as these people, we certainly would have acted differently. We are out of place, and we have not lived their lives. In the end, we know very little about the people we judge.
We also have a hard time looking back on ourselves, because sometimes we think we would react better to a situation than such a person, but when the opportunity arises, we act differently than we anticipated.
We must go beyond appearances and the surface of things, bearing in mind that each person has their own story, i.e. a set of experiences, feelings, emotions, encounters, and biological and personal variables. To this, we must add all the subtleties of a given situation, and its context.
There is no point in judging with the cookie-cutter. Who are we to do it? Starting a conversation sometimes isn’t very helpful either, as not all of us are comfortable with words. Words may also not be enough to express how one feels.
Conversely, listening to the other and taking into account what he has known, his experiences and his feelings, will allow us to better understand him.
And if we are unable to do so, it doesn’t have to be a big deal either. Our history may have made it difficult for us to listen to other people, and that’s okay.
Behind every appearance is a strong and at the same time sensitive soul, and hide many wounds and scars, which are the traces of its history.
