Being Alone Is Not The Same As Feeling Alone
We live in a time in which we are suffering a series of changes that make us more alone: aging of the population, changes in social relations, increase in single-parent families, increase in the number of people who want to live alone or social demands that involve isolation. However, being alone is not the same as feeling alone.
Loneliness does not imply objective social isolation. According to some authors, loneliness has an emotional component. Indeed, it is an unpleasant experience, besides the cognitive component. Consequently, we perceive a reduction in social relations or that these are inappropriate.
What is loneliness?
We can define loneliness in three ways depending on what causes this situation or sensation:
- Being alone: in this case, the person is physically alone. She may be lonely, but she doesn’t experience feelings of loneliness. This state can be voluntary. Indeed, we can choose it because we prefer to be alone than accompanied. In other words, it is a question of a chosen social isolation.
- Loneliness: In this state, the person feels the need or the desire to be in contact with others, but is not able to do so. The conditions may not allow this social contact, but the person feels some insecurity, leading or contributing to loneliness. In addition, she experiences feelings of worthlessness, rejection, lack of motivation, hypoactivity, infrequent eye contact, etc. In other words, isolation is not chosen but it comes from a feeling of incapacity.
- Positive solitude: Sometimes people need to spend time alone as a way of resting. In this case, solitude is pleasant. It is seen as an opportunity to recharge your batteries, promote creativity and connect with yourself.
- Alienation: in a more extreme case of loneliness, the person feels an inner void that separates them from their own identity. It is as if the person is disconnecting from themselves, which leads them to disconnect from others.
The consequences of feeling lonely
Feeling alone is a very unpleasant feeling that can come over us even if we are surrounded by people who are worried about us. However, this may imply a more serious problem. In fact, it can be a disorder that we usually do not pay enough attention to.
Those who suffer from it often do not communicate it. They also don’t want to admit that it’s the root of their mood. It is difficult to recognize and accept this feeling of loneliness when it is not wanted. Indeed, it causes feelings of shame and, in particular, difficulty in overcoming it.
The main complication of feeling lonely is that often, when you do, you do not seek specialized help. Whoever suffers from it does not consider it as something pathological but as a normal feature of life.
As for the consequences, beyond the emotional consequences, we consider the feeling of loneliness as a risk factor for morbidity. In other words, for pathologies which can become fatal or really harmful.
Among them, loneliness has been associated with impaired physical health. Concretely, with cardiovascular diseases, eating disorders or sleep disorders. As for mental health, loneliness is associated with increased depression, substance abuse, and even suicide.
How to cure it ?
Although it is very difficult to come to terms with the feeling of loneliness, and even worse, to remedy it, one can try to change the perception that one has of loneliness.
First of all, we must identify the origin of this sensation. For example, we may wonder what we need to stop feeling like this. Once we have identified the reasons, we must think about the solutions to be provided. Improve social skills? Make new friends ? Carry out group activities?
One can recommend taking time to help others, for example, by volunteering. This activity can increase the feeling of usefulness towards others, thinking that our presence is important for others. Keeping busy is important to try to think of other things and reduce the time spent thinking about loneliness.
You can also start activities carried out in groups. Signing up for dance classes, painting classes, and a book club is a way of making the most of the time and at the same time meeting people and spending time with others.
In addition, today we have the opportunity to meet people online so that we no longer feel alone. There are many platforms for meeting new people based on our needs and tastes. Ultimately, look for the option best suited to our needs and tastes, but above all to try to satisfy the perceived void, without fear of assuming it.
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