Children Of Parents With Paranoid Personalities: Emotional Prisons

Children of parents with paranoid personalities exist, even though they are invisible to society. They experience the effects of disorganized attachment, scarring emotional instability, and an extremely draining dysfunctional environment. These are children who are at greater risk of suffering from mental disorders and who, in addition to their families, require greater medical and social attention.

People with personality disorders, with schizophrenia, with dissociative disorders, etc., also experience love, have children and build their own families. This is obvious but, yet, many drift into borderline situations that remain in the shadows because they do not benefit from adequate social and family support. We are talking about problematic dynamics of which we are not always aware.

It is very common, for example, for patients with a paranoid personality to neglect their treatment and furthermore be characterized by a poor relationship with those around them. All of this creates sometimes very complicated situations, in which children are arguably the most vulnerable link. Therefore, there is a need to talk more about these realities that unfold on a daily basis in our closest environments:  the disease sometimes leads to situations that require our attention and sensitivity.

Living with someone with a paranoid personality

Currently, we do not know why this type of disorder develops. In general, it is assumed to be the result of such a complex triad of biological, genetic and social factors. It should be noted that  the paranoid personality represents one of the most exhausting psychiatric illnesses,  for several reasons: it affects all areas of the person, thus making any personal, family and professional relationship very difficult.

Let’s see some features:

• These are profiles characterized by permanent mistrust. This disorder begins to appear in adolescence; people display behaviors of continuous suspicion and think that others always have bad intentions towards them.

• They still believe that they will be ripped off, betrayed, abandoned …
• Excessive concern for any aspect.
• They need continued evidence of loyalty and fidelity.
• Poor management of their emotions. They are unable to forgive or forget any aspect they consider offensive, to the point of accumulating eternal resentments obsessively.
• They are hypervigilant. Their radar is always “on” in the face of any suspicion, danger or threat to their person.
• This distrust often causes them to develop a cold and hostile character. These are people who are always on the defensive.

Children of parents with a paranoid personality

Several studies have been carried out to determine the impact of a progenitor with a paranoid personality on the education of his children. It should above all be pointed out that the problem, in these cases, is twofold. We cannot forget that this disorder has a genetic weight, meaning  that there is a clear risk that the prevalence of this disease is passed from one generation to another.

Despite everything, genetics never determine 100% the risk of developing a psychological disorder. What determines it the most is undoubtedly our entourage and the standards of education received. This is where the real problem lies. Now let’s take a look at what scientific research tells us about how children of parents with paranoid personalities grow and mature.

Children of parents with a paranoid personality: the effects on education

• At two years old, children already have a  more distant gaze and a lower receptivity to external stimuli.
• The insecure attachment, disorganized and marked by stress, determines the fact that these little ones display patterns of behavior based on mistrust, hyperactivity, fear of abandonment, the constant search for consolation …
• Another common factor that characterizes fathers and mothers with paranoid personalities is their emotional and educational incongruence. They can be very affectionate and suddenly show coldness and hostility.
• They are inconsistent with the standards and this generates high stress in the brain development of the child. 
• Children of parents with paranoid personalities exhibit low self-esteem and a negative self-image.

• Emotional restraint due to the fact that parents invalidated their emotional and emotional needs  from an early age.
• In general, these children have very poor academic performance.
• When the child becomes aware of his father / mother’s illness, he normally shows feelings of guilt.
• Parents with paranoid personalities often put up barriers to their children’s socialization. By doing this, they seek to prevent the latter from abandoning them.
• During adolescence,  it is common to see criminal behavior as well as acts of rebellion, anxiety disorders, depression, etc.

Current interventions

Children of parents with paranoid personalities undoubtedly need personalized psychosocial intervention. However, since the effects of an inconsistent and unpredictable home environment are very large, we cannot think only of children. The intervention must extend to the whole entourage, including the parents.

• When a mother with a paranoid personality gives birth to her child,  she needs to undergo attachment-enhancing psychotherapy. The mother or father is encouraged to talk about their own childhood experiences and to link these events to their current relationship with their child, making them understand how the cycle of disorganized and / or insecure attachment is perpetuated.
• In addition, we must also seek to  promote adequate family psycho-education, through which adequate support networks will be offered to people. Thus, dynamics such as the training of family skills or the need to be consistent in relation to feelings, norms, routines and habits are essential objectives to be achieved in these family groups.

In addition, and to conclude, in the event that the children of parents with a paranoid personality are already grown up and this problem is detected in the school field, the psychological intervention would be very concrete. We would try to promote good self-esteem in the child or adolescent  and we would help them have a positive relationship with those around them, we would ensure that they have healthy interests and we would also provide them with strategies. to reduce the stress caused by the mental illness of one of its progenitors.

These are, as we see, very complex situations which require concrete and multidisciplinary support.

Our thoughts

When a teenager suffers from an eating disorder, parents play a central role in the healing process.