Jealousy Always Goes Hand In Hand With Criticism
Jealousy is considered one of the seven deadly sins and usually goes hand in hand with destructive criticism of the jealous person; Destructive for those who feel it and for those who are affected, this emotion is as common as it is hurtful and is usually hidden by superficial and shallow statements.
Finding out about someone’s jealousy takes time and attention, since it’s not really a socially approved feeling (beyond talking about “healthy jealousy” as a synonym for admiration). Therefore, jealousy acts silently: generally, it grows over time, and can lead some people to rejoice in the misfortune of others.
However, sometimes she does not warn, and comes loaded with reproaches and appreciations that are not always understood by the jealous person. Indeed, jealousy manifests itself disguised in confused forms of easy and destructive reproach and criticism.
To be jealous is to desire something that you do not have and not to rejoice in the well-being of others. Unfortunately, it is also a rather popular feeling leading the person who feels it to shrink. On the other hand, jealousy does not only concern “inaccessible” people, but also close people.
This unpleasant feeling is mainly due to two human tendencies: wanting what we cannot have and constantly comparing ourselves to the people around us. Jealousy, therefore, arises from desire and drives the jealous person towards lack of empathy.
In addition, the negative reactions that come from the jealous person usually lead them to isolation or to have difficulty relating to others. Ultimately, it is difficult for the jealous person to put themselves in the other’s shoes, to rejoice for him / her and, in this way, to cultivate a healthy relationship with the jealous person.
On the other hand, once it is born, jealousy mixes with a lot of other conflicting feelings: admiration, frustration, indignation, unhappiness, etc. As a rule, it manifests itself towards relatives, friends, work colleagues, etc; people who are close to the jealous person.
For these two reasons, we can say that jealousy is one of the most malicious feelings; We are jealous of prestige, money, health, emotional success, professional life, etc. All this makes the most immediate criticism a form of relief.
It is repetitive criticism that does not seek to clarify anything, but to fuel self-satisfaction, often by making the other feel bad. Jealousy can also go hand in hand with defamation, insults or lies in order not to accept reality and not to put words on the feelings experienced.
“Jealousy is a thousand times more terrible than hunger,
for it is a spiritual hunger. ”
– Miguel de Unamuno –
The hurtful judgment derived from jealousy is the product of apathy and unhappiness: jealousy reflects what we lack, anti-conformism and self-rejection. It is a feeling which speaks of dissatisfaction and which avoids acknowledging it.
It’s not about always conforming or not seeking to surpass yourself, but one of the best ways to re-channel jealousy is to use it as motivation. In other words, that the success of others is the trigger leading us to wake up and get going.
“The critics are nothing but concealed pride.
A soul sincere with itself will never stoop to criticism.
The criticism is heart cancer. ”
– Mother Teresa –
Looking at ourselves before talking about others with jealousy allows us to recognize what we need to change or what desires we are nurturing that perhaps we had not manifested until then. From there it is easier to act to get there and to fight for it with illusion, not with hatred.
