Mourning, Or The Art Of Saying Goodbye

No one has ever instilled in us the laws of suffering, nor taught us how to face them.

Usually, losing someone when you least expect it can be overwhelming, and ruin something inside of you.

We then rebuild ourselves little by little, without knowing that this process is probably the best lesson we have ever been given.

No one is immune to loss. Grief is something that we are all doomed to go through one day or another: the loss of a loved one, a break up in love, or the simple fact of maturing, all of this involves going through different levels. of mourning.

However, regardless of the nature of grief, no one knows how to deal with the pain that emanates from it. It invades us, and sometimes even goes so far as to destroy us.

Is there a magic formula that can make us immune to the separation, the emptiness, the unfathomable hollow of this hand on which we depend?

Such a magic formula does not exist. According to experts, each person must find their own way of grieving, of finding peace, strength of character and the ability to stand up.

The importance of knowing that you are vulnerable

Emotional maturity is one who knows how to move forward thanks to his own losses, who has learned from indifference and who sees difficulties as opportunities to learn.

We can read a lot about grief, we can do what a therapist tells us, what our friends or family tell us to support us.

However, a loss, whatever it is, is an act that must be faced alone, thanks to mechanisms that are specific to us.

No one is going to cry for us, no one is going to rearrange their thoughts and ease our pain to free us from a weight.

Grieving takes a long time, and to get there, you have to recognize that you’re not as strong as you might think. In reality, we are as vulnerable as a feather carried by the wind.

Vulnerability is not a bad thing. Our real strength lies in our vulnerability.

Ask yourself a little, and tell yourself one thing: the more you resist, the more you will refuse to admit that you feel hurt, that you have the impression that your life is going to fall apart and that you suffer, the higher you will be. the wall of negation that will be erected in front of you.

How can we face what we refuse to recognize, and what we deny the existence? Why refuse to mourn the loss and accept to feel vulnerable?

By recognizing that we are vulnerable, we can then adapt, because ultimately, mourning is nothing more than a response that adapts to that which occurs through suffering and pain.

Mourning, or the art of knowing how to “let go”

We can see mourning as an “art” that causes you some concern, because we prefer to confine our life only to the pleasant, comforting and positive things.

However, the pleasure of life also drags behind it its share of suffering, to which no one is immune.

It is still necessary to clarify an important point: when we speak of mourning, we always think of physical losses, that is to say of death.

Nevertheless, there are also affective or emotional mourning, linked to this love that we had to give up or that has abandoned us, or even to the simple fact of maturing as a person, of assuming new values, and of giving up. certain thought patterns to develop others.

It is a process of inner growth during which we overcome rather deep bereavements of people, and sometimes of identities.

It is something as rewarding as it needs to be, without a doubt.

But despite everything, it is a process that involves certain fears, since any change implies an implicit loss, even a feeling of loneliness or emptiness.

We must realize that life is not a serene walk where happiness is always guaranteed. Sometimes life hurts. One has to accept frustration, loss and grief, whatever its nature. Because these bereavements all lead to a necessary wisdom.