The Demon Of Depression

“ But what’s going on?
Sadness has become like hatred,
But not against myself,
rather against everything around me,
I have become volatile and unstable,
I now look with contempt on the human being ”

(Jordan Cortes)

Andrew Solomon is a writer and professor of psychology, considered one of the world’s foremost experts on depression. In his latest book, “ The Demon of Depression “, he offers us all of his vision on this disease.

For 5 years, he interviewed many people with this disease. He also draws on his own experience, as he too suffered from depression. He received the National Book Award and was a Pulitzer Prize finalist.

Solomon defines depression as the “love crack”, a wound that closes, heals and reopens due to certain factors, such as a romantic break-up, loss of a loved one, difficulties. professional, etc.

When it occurs, this love crack destroys the most private part of the person who suffers from it, robbing them of their ability to give and receive affection.

When a person suffers from depression, he experiences a great inner loneliness which destroys his bond with others, but also the relationship that he was able to establish with himself.

Obviously, each case of depression is unique. If some people are plunged into this state because of obvious triggers, such as the loss of a child for example, others can sink into this pathology for reasons which seem insignificant at first glance.

Regardless of its cause, depression almost always leads to a disproportionate need to love and be loved.

This need is shattered by the impossibility of loving and being loved, caused by this pathology.

Solomon expresses this major contradiction in the following way: “ When a person is depressed, he needs the love of others, but depression promotes acts that destroy that love ”.

For Dr. Andrew Solomon, if anything can perfectly characterize depression, it is the inability to love and total laxity, that is to say the inability to act, the lack of appetite. , lack of affection and willpower.

There are other symptoms of this pathology, much more discreet and sometimes totally hidden, which can nevertheless reveal its presence to us, in order to be able to treat it as soon as possible. Andrew Solomon recognizes ten:

1. Drink more than usual: Drinking alcohol is one of the most common tactics for dealing with pain, and for finding solutions to problems that may occupy our mind.

2. Being obsessed with social connection: Attempting to seduce the whole world makes it possible to try to fight depression and not to feel alone.

3. Arguing Frequently: Being on the defensive all the time helps to fight the feelings of vulnerability that depression brings.

4. Feel nothing: in order not to feel sad, we avoid having feelings, as if we were zombies. This quickly causes all our loved ones to move away.

5. Not being productive at work: despite efforts, it is difficult for the depressed person to have a good professional performance.

6. Not being focused: we always think of things other than what we are doing, we often forget things, etc.

7. Nothing matters anymore: it is not just a hollow word, spoken by a depressed person. She can no longer motivate herself for nothing, despite the insistence of others.

8. Go out more than usual: Going out is a way of trying to escape depression, even if the person often feels very bad when attending different events.

9. Laugh and Cry Disorderly:  If we have depression, we may cry and laugh inconsistently. This pathology causes constant emotional instability.

10. Do a lot of things: Depression causes those who suffer from it to activate on all sides to feel invincible, when the reality is quite different.

What can help us fight depression?

Here are some tips for fighting depression:

• Surround yourself with people who love us.
• Sleep well
• Eat a healthy diet and exercise.
• Undergo psychotherapy.
• Opt for healthy alternatives to antidepressants, like homeopathy, hypnosis, literature, music, etc.

While Andrew Solomon says there are tips that can be helpful for anyone with depression, you should keep in mind that every case is different.

It therefore seems logical that the treatments are adapted according to the patient.

It is possible, for example, to focus on the other side of depression, the less gloomy perhaps. By analyzing it, we can discover what it is trying to teach us.

Solomon tells us that she is there to help the human being and that she allows us to understand how the state of mind affects everything we experience in our existence.

How to help a loved one who suffers from depression?

Depression is the illness of loneliness, which turns interactions with others into stressful situations.

The first thing to do is therefore not to leave the person alone. She has to sense our presence somehow.

We need to talk to him, or just be by his side. Keeping close to her will allow her not to sink into an abyss of loneliness.

Congratulate her on any progress, even if it is minimal. Help her lead a healthy lifestyle and identify the things that stress her, and read up on depression and its treatment.

Here are some tips that should allow you to help a loved one who suffers from depression.

Remember, while depression cannot be cured with love, feeling loved by others helps the depressed person to find the motivation they need to get out of the situation.