The Keys To Connecting With An Introvert

Connect with an introvert supposed to find time adequate . It also means approaching him sincerely and without artifice in order to discover that he can be an excellent conversationalist.

We will also realize that under this sometimes distant guise lives a person who knows how to listen. A person who avoids gossip, who transmits his enthusiasm to us and with whom it is possible to forge a strong and faithful bond.

By reviewing the literature on introversion a little, we become aware of an essential aspect. It was not until 2010 that this type of personality managed to shed its negative image  thanks to books, such as Silence, the power of introverts, which highlighted a whole  series of virtues and characteristics that make this profile a whole lot of potential to be discovered.

Psychologists Davis and Rulon published a study in 1935 in which, for the first and only time until early 2000, the interests of introverts were addressed.

This study showed that i l s could not be included in the category of people with e social withdrawal, as many thought, and that introversion is not quite the opposite of extraversion. Introverts have the skills to get involved in the goals of any company. They are distinguished by their attachment to their ideals and their gifts as talkers.

This last fact was widely criticized at the time. Introversion was indeed associated with this pathological shyness where the person has no social competence. This idea is now obsolete, in particular because of a detail that we cannot forget: introversion is not a unitary characteristic. Each of us is at some point in this continuum between introversion and extroversion.

How to connect with an introvert?

We already know that introversion is distinguished from shyness. We also understand that this personality type is free from gaps in terms of social skills, withdrawal into oneself, or any pathological component that makes it difficult for us to connect with them.

What defines them is actually a series of behavioral dynamics v have together with their mental concentration,  emotions and even with a brain that processes information differently . 

• Introverts prefer quiet environments. They don’t avoid socializing or meeting large groups of people. These types of scenarios borrowed from excess stimuli exhaust them psychologically.
• Introverts are introspective, observant, imaginative.
• They have few friends. They prefer small circles of friendship with which they can form strong and meaningful connections.
• They are meticulous people.
• Introverts have artistic passions: music, writing, drawing …
• They prefer deep conversations and dislike gossip or attracting attention.

• They move out of intrinsic motivation: they are true to their values ​​and don’t need to get along with everyone.

We now know the tastes, behaviors and dynamics of introverted people. Now let’s see what are the keys that can help us connect with these people.

1. With an introvert, you have to respect the time and channels of communication

To communicate with an introvert, there is one essential aspect that we need to understand. His world is moving at a different pace, slower, more serene, more careful. We must therefore avoid, during a first contact, to impose our presence, to realize a monologue and end up asking for their phone number. This is a mistake.

The ideal is to accept their rhythm, their time. It is therefore necessary to  start with a contact where a subject conversation interested parties in attendance.

It’s also important to understand that there are certain channels of communication that introverts tend to avoid. They don’t like regular phone calls, for example. It is therefore preferable to use messages and, if possible, spaced out, without pressure or stress.

2. Like an onion, an introvert has several layers

Introverts have many layers. They are like an onion that hides a background that is both precious and luminous. Being able to reach them to authentically connect requires not only respecting their time, but also gradually removing the different layers. This therefore requires a fundamental dimension on our part: trust.

Only if we are sincere, close, humble, and congruent at all times can we be able to build a quality relationship  with an introvert.

3. Don’t make them the center of attention

Don’t throw surprise parties for her. Don’t have birthdays where guests crowd a room and he or she is the center of attention. Such a scenario would work with an outgoing personality, but not with this profile.

So create special moments where everything is simple and spontaneous, with the right people. Times when the introvert won’t feel pressure, when the gaze of others won’t weigh on him, when he won’t feel pressured to do something that is bothering him.

4. Have meaningful conversations

Avoid monologues or superficial conversations. In this context, an introvert will respond to you with education, but they will not listen to you. So go for smarter, deeper topics to get in touch with an introvert.

The ideal is obviously to have common interests with this person, such as books, television series, goals, projects … In other words, common values ​​that bind you both.

5. Appreciate the silences

Sharing silences with another person can lead to magical moments. It is indeed in these moments that reigns confidence, that each one can be natural, without having to force anything, that it is about attitudes or conversations.

Nothing beats looking for calm environments to connect with an introverted person. Environments where this calm predominates, where silence creates the link between you, making this complicity can last a lifetime.

6. Respect his space

There is no reason to see each other every day or call each other every two hours. It is not necessary to explain everything we do or don’t do day in and day out.

Introverted people need their space of solitude to charge themselves with energies, to nourish themselves, to be themselves among the balance of their loneliness with their tastes and passions. Doing so does not mean that they love us less, whether we are a friend or a spouse.

In short …

Getting to know an introvert can be easier than we think. It will result in extraordinary satisfaction. Introverts are treasures in the depths of life with whom it is possible to make extraordinary connections.

Our thoughts

There are differences between introverts and hypersensitive people and there are also extroverts who are very sensitive …