Why Do I Have Less And Less Patience As The Days Go By?
Why am I having less and less patience? The world seems to move forward in front of me with the slowness of a pachyderm and this parsimony makes me despair. Nothing that I hope happens, the goals I set for myself rarely come true. Worse yet, I’m stuck in a whirlwind where everything revolves around negativity and frustrated expectations.
Do you know that feeling? You are not the only one. Many people experience this psychological reality, complain of a pain in the mandible due to their tension, feel this emptiness in the stomach, and have a more nervous and suspicious mind than usual.
Impatience, Kafka said, is the fruit of all human errors. However, this reality can sometimes be motivated by triggers that are as complex as they are specific.
Sometimes someone can define themselves as having a patient and relaxed personality, but suddenly, and due to certain circumstances, this approach gets distorted and worn out. It is at this moment that worry appears, as well as this discomfort that makes patience, hope and even optimism vanish. What is this due to? What explains this situation?
The reasons why I have less and less patience as the days go by
Defining what impatience is is quite easy: it characterizes the person who is unable to wait for something without being nervous. Just like the one who does not have the faculty to carry out tasks without losing his calm. We all know, more or less, what it feels like and what happens when this dimension takes control. But we don’t know why.
Why are we getting impatient? Why are there times when we have a harder time tolerating waiting, accepting other people’s quirks, or accepting that things don’t always turn out the way we would like?
It is true that there are pure strain impatient people. People who always have the same behavior. Nevertheless, we sometimes surprise ourselves when we feel that we are missing this dimension. Let’s analyze why.
Stress and an overactive cerebral tonsil
There are times when external demands exceed the psychological resources at our disposal. Work or the absence of it, family, the weight of uncertainties, frustrated goals plunge us into a state of deep stress.
Under these circumstances, the cerebral amygdala, that region related to emotional processing, begins to be more overactive than usual. This translates into a feeling of constant threat.
We filter every event, circumstance and stimulus out of mistrust, even fear. All this makes our mental point of view tinged with anguish and not with tranquility, with a need for urgency and not with a calm gaze.
Depression and a lower level of serotonin
Why do I have less and less patience as the days go by? Why do I feel more irritable? And why am I having trouble finishing things or even starting them?
Often times, depression can be hidden behind this psychological condition. In research published in the journal Current Biology, a very interesting thing has been shown about this.
Doctor Zachary Mainen and his team from the Champalimaud Center at the University of Lisbon (Portugal) have discovered a relationship between low activation of serotonin neurons and lack of patience. We know that these nerve cells and their neurotransmitter are linked to well-being, motivation, ability to succeed, and happiness.
Thus, a low level of this neurochemical component is mainly linked to depressive disorders. If we then perceive that we have less and less patience, that apathy is gnawing at us and that alterations in sleep or eating appear, it is recommended to consult a professional.
Why do I have less and less patience as the days go by? An accumulation of frustrated hopes
There is one irrefutable fact that we have all experienced in our own flesh: today we need to be more patient than ever. Currently, achieving a goal requires a lot more perseverance.
The realization of our projects requires more months than a few years ago. Affective relationships and social life in general demand a lot more of us.
This panorama often fills us with bitter frustrations. So, when you drag more than one failure behind you, more than one goal lost on the way or a dream that has evaporated, you tend to lose patience . The accumulation of frustrated experiences ends up damaging the muscle of calm, of tolerance, that internal balance which gives us measure and reflection.
Reversing this process, that is, going from impatience to patience, is not easy. But it is not impossible either.
The good news is that the art of patience can be practiced. So, one thing we need to understand is that we can’t speed up time to get things done faster. It is also not possible to manipulate reality, events or people to make everything the way we would like it to be.
In short …
We are first forced to accept that we have control over (almost) nothing. That the world is fallible, like those around us. Like us.
Learning to be more patient therefore involves cultivating hope, accepting that things, even if they are sometimes not the way we would like them to be, may end up being, in other future circumstances.
Our thoughts Cognitive patience is the ability to look at and deal with the world without haste, with a demanding but calm gaze.
