Why Do We Fall In Love With Some People More Than Others?
We humans are a fascinating mix of attitudes, beliefs, desires and aspirations.
Understanding why we fall in love with a particular man or woman, and not another, is a challenge that has caught the attention of psychologists for a very long time.
Emotions settle in our brain in a rather incomprehensible way, but they penetrate in us, in our personality and in our desires, in an implicit, almost magical way.
Sometimes the attraction is based on needs that we are not aware of, on aspirations and desires that we suddenly find in one type of person and not in another.
Let’s take a closer look …
The loving brain
When we do research on all these processes that follow in our brain when we are in love, magic maybe loses a little of its charm to bring us back to this colder world of chemistry, this wonderful mixture of neurotransmitters capable of causing that famous sensation of “being in the clouds.”
Endorphins, encephalins and phenylethylamine are responsible for our euphoria and happiness, because they inject us with positive emotions.
But what activates these processes, what causes our brain to freeze on one type of person and not on another?
Theory 1: Family Similarity
It happens that we feel good with certain people because they remind us, in a certain way, of our progenitors.
We then feel safe and confident. We feel attraction because they are familiar to us, and being with them fills us with a pleasant sense of affinity.
Theory 2: Correspondence
Another theory is that of “correspondence”. According to scientists, having shared similar experiences, having been through the same things, having similar tastes and values plays a big role in falling in love.
It is a good way to choose a life partner because all of these aspects make our life easier and more exciting. This is another very rewarding type of affinity.
Theory 3: admiration
Sometimes, admiration for someone turns into love. This person serves as a mirror for us in which we see the virtues, aspirations or aspects that we have always wanted to see in ourselves and that, in one way or another, we never achieved.
It is in this category that we can find, for example, the attractions towards people very different from us.
Indeed, we are sometimes attracted by self-assured, extroverted and enterprising people while we are more shy and uncertain. Opposites attract because, in essence, they complement each other and meet the needs of the other.
Theory 4: Chemistry, glands
Many studies claim the importance of the famous pheromones. These are substances secreted by glands present in the lips, armpits, neck, groin, etc.
These are invisible substances that we can smell without realizing it, thanks to an organ called vomeronasal, independent of smell.
It is a smell that creates sensations, something unique in everyone and which also defines us in a certain way.
These are the most well-known theories when it comes to love, the ones that maybe make us more attracted to one type of person than another.
Only time and ourselves will be able to confirm their veracity, when this blinding phase of love loses its intensity, its clouds and its sparks… giving way to the reality of things.
